Ahoy there, me mateys! It is I, yer favorite feathered shipmate, Polly Crackers, fresh off me internationally-acclaimed reality show, Barbary Sharrrrr, here ta welcome ya all to me new column, which shall seek ta highlight the very best in pirate-ry, from hither and yon. Luckily, me Cap’n sought fit to install wyyy-fyyy in the good ol’ Jolly Roger just this past fortnight, so I no longer have to wait until we’re on dry land ta hook up to the ‘Net, as they call it. And thanks to this vocal recognition softwayyyyre, me claws no longer get in the way of me bloggin’.
Where was I? Oh, yes, pirates. Do we even need an introduction? Ya know us, ya love us. And if y’don’t or if yer a no-good landlubber, ye’d best steer clear, cuz neither this merry little column nor I have any patience for the likes o’ you. If yer still readin’, I’ll assume yer a fan and, really, who wouldn’t be? We pirates have panache. We pirates have style. We pirates have TREASURE, and don’t ya be forgettin’ it! Ah, yes, and rum. Lots and lots o’ rum.
There arrrr so many great things about bein’ a pirate, but I do believe that Masters Gilbert & Sullivan said it best in their comickal operetta, The Pirates of Penzance. Ah’ll let the Pirate King take it from here…
Glarrrrrrrius, indeed! We pirates have arrrrr our movies. We have arrrrr own carrrrtoons. We have arrrrr own theme park rides. Why, we even have arrrrr own theme song!
Now do me a favor and come back next week, and I’ll be relatin’ ta ya my very favorite pirate story, I will. Until then, make sure to keep yer ‘ead above the water!